Dealing with Criticism

As artists and bloggers, we put little pieces of our heart and soul out into the world and open ourselves up to criticism. When I first started this journey, I was obsessed with that. If I got a nice comment, I was happy all day. If no one commented, I thought no one liked my work and was depressed. Gradually, Ive begun to let go of my need for approval.  I've come to believe that the value of art is not dictated by public opinion. I still love hearing your comments, but I no longer let them control my mood.

I had to learn this all over again after I published my book. When I got my first harsh book review, I was crushed and spent days trying to get people to tell me that reviewer was wrong. After that I began looking for the grains of truth in each criticism so I could learn and improve.  I thought I had this need for approval under control.

And then, BAM, another attack on the book. When I read,"It looks like it was put together by a grade-schooler," I was crushed again. Where's the grain of truth in that? Birdie wisely asked me if I liked it and if I thought I did a good job. "That," she said, "is the only important thing." She's right. I find it astonishing that any 14-year-old has the self-confidence to understand that her work is valuable even if no one else thinks it is.  What a gift.

I, on the other hand, still let it bug me. Are my instructions truly poorly written?  Are my examples truly very rough and badly done? I don't think so and many other people have told me they found the book very helpful, so why am I still thinking about it? After much soul-searching, reading, and writing, I've come to this conclusion: it is because I am human!

I am not the only one facing this challenge. If you are also being criticized and could use some support, I found the following articles helpful:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-criticism-well-25-reasons-to-embrace-it/
Dealing with Criticism
How to Deal With Criticism - 9 Useful Tips For Dealing With Criticism

Perhaps my favorite bit of advice comes from Aristotle. He says:
“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing."

So, I will continue to share my art and stories with you. Maybe I'll even write another book. 

Here is today's art. I thought I would "cheat" a little on the Diva challenge and start with this:

I figured I could add whatever was required and finish quickly.  Hah! She fooled me. The challenge this week is ebony and ivory. That required some serious thought.  

Not wanting to resort to black paint, I grabbed my Graphic 1 pen and I thought I'd try to do some "negative Zentangle."  I don't mean that I was going to think bad thought while tangling (not possible), but rather that I would try and color the background with black and leave white the part I would have normally drawn with my .01 or .005.  I can tell you that it was certainly a challenge. It took about 5 hours to do the ebony as compared to 1.5 for the ivory.  Not exactly the quick finish I had in mind.

But, I am really glad I did it. Not only do I really love the result, but it took my mind off the criticism.


Dealing with criticism is something that gets easier the more you do it, so I invite you to please criticize this post. I shall attempt to learn from it and not take any personal offense.  Thanks!

Zentangle is Meant to Be a Surprise to Its Creator

It bears repeating: "Zentangle is meant to be a surprise to its creator."  This is a public reminder to myself.

Sometimes I do a tangle and almost  like it.  This is what happened in the first tangle.  So, I thought I would redo it, with a little more planning.  The result is the middle tangle.  Not quite what I had in mind.

So, I tried again.  I still like the first one best.  It is much more spontaneous.  The bottom one looks too much like wallpaper.  I have no words to describe the middle one.

Remember, Zentangle is meant to be a surprise to its creator.

Expectations of Fairyland

The Diva's Challenge this week is as follows:


...  to create a Zentangle environment where fairies would feel at home.  There are lots of tangles that have full fairy approval and affection!  Have fun!

Well, I guess I'm getting old or something because I haven't talked to the fairies for many a year and I was stumped.  I made a few new tangles that Birdie told me were definitely NOT fairy-like. I even went through some of my older "unpublished" tangles.  Nothing.  


Finally, in exasperation, Birdie told me, "Fairies like flowers. Tinkerbell LIVES in a flower."


With that to go on, I drew a very swirly string and started with Enyshou, thinking the fairies would like something soft.  Things went downhill from there.  When I finished, I still didn't think it was very fairy-like, so I thought instead of shading it with regular pencil, I'd shade it with pink.  I may be old, but I do know that fairies like pink!  Then I decided that there was a need for highlights, so I got out the yellow pencil as well.  




I still don't like it, but I think it was because of my expectations for what it SHOULD look like.  Very un-Zentangle.  I tell my students that their work will always look like a Zentangle and they shouldn't have expectations.  That way they will be surprised by the result.  I need to listen to myself! 


Michael Landon said it best:  Dreaming is one thing, and working towards the dream is one thing, but working with expectations in mind is very self-defeating.


Here's hoping that you will let go of expectations and enjoy the process.  That is truly fairy-like.

Courage To Create

Courage to create.  

Do you have it?  

Do you believe in yourself enough to stand up for it?

When was the last time you had to?

One of the reasons I like Zentangle so much is that it can help adults who have lost their courage to create. We learned in Zentangle training that most young children, when asked, will enthusiastically tell you that they are artists.  By the time they get to high school, only a small percentage will give the same response. 

I will admit to being one of those.  Somehow over the years, I gave doubt a foothold and he made himself at home.  Since finding Zentangle, I've started getting back into art.  A little at a time.  In addition to tangling, I have started dabbling in watercolor and willingly sketch in public.  And post my less than perfect results here on this blog. 

I thought I was doing pretty well.  Until Monday.  

Birdie had started a cake decorating project for 4H and we found out on Sunday afternoon that she needed to bake and decorate a cake for Tuesday.  (Did I mention that she is in camp from 8:30-5 every day?)  I didn't think she had enough time, so I started immediately trying to talk her out of it.

She wouldn't listen.  

She baked her cake on Sunday but on Monday we found out that her mentor would not be able to help her.  Again, I sat down with her trying to convince her that she didn't need to go to judging. I told her that she could still decorate her cake, just for fun and that she didn't need someone else to tell her she was good.  After all, I figured she would be competing against kids who've done this for years and she only had one afternoon of working with someone that knows what she's doing.

Thank goodness that Birdie is smarter than I am. That she still believes in herself. Enough to stand up to her doubting mother. Check out what she accomplished, all by herself.

By the way, she took first place in the county and will get to compete at the fair on July 30.  Wish her luck.

And the next time anyone, even your own inner critic, tries to tell you that you can't do something, don't believe them.